“Sometimes, when you’re in silence and you focus and really listen, you can perceive her presence—and hear her loving voice.”
— from Your Sacred Self by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Let me begin with a story that always touches my heart.
Two babies are having a conversation inside their mother’s womb. One questions if there is life after delivery. The other believes there’s something more—something brighter, where they’ll walk, eat, and maybe even meet the mother they’ve never seen. The first dismisses this as fantasy. “If I can’t see her, how can she exist?” But the second says softly, “Sometimes, if you really listen… you can feel her presence.”
That story isn’t just about babies. It’s about belief. About what we say to ourselves when no one is listening. About that quiet voice inside that either limits us—or sets us free.
What Is Self-Talk?
Self-talk is the ongoing dialogue you have with yourself—about your day, your decisions, and most importantly, about you.
It’s subtle, constant, and powerful. Whether you realize it or not, that voice shapes how you feel, act, and live.
And here’s the key:
Your self-talk can either build you up or break you down.
The Loop of Self-Talk
Here’s how it works:
Self-Talk → shapes → Self-Image → drives → Performance → reinforces → Self-Talk
If you tell yourself, “I’m not good at public speaking,” that belief becomes part of your identity. You avoid opportunities, your confidence shrinks, and the next time you’re asked to speak, you hesitate again. The cycle continues—until you decide to rewrite the story.
Three Steps to Cultivating Positive Self-Talk
1. Catch the Inner Critic: Awareness is Everything
We all have moments when negative thoughts swirl in—“I’m not good enough,” “I always mess this up,” “This is too hard.”
The first step is simply noticing them.
You don’t have to silence them right away. Just recognize them. Name them. And then, redirect them.
✅ “I’ve never done this before” → “It’s a chance to learn something new.”
✅ “This feels hard” → “I’ll take it one step at a time.”
The more aware you are, the more power you have to shift the script.
2. Write a Better Script
What we say to ourselves—again and again—becomes our reality.
Notice how your thoughts follow your words:
Say to yourself, “Today is a terrible day.” Notice how quickly your brain rushes to find proof: the weather, the traffic, the mood.
Now flip it. Say, “Today is a beautiful day.” Suddenly, you notice sunlight through the blinds, the warm chai in your cup, the kindness of a friend.
✨ Self-talk isn’t just commentary. It’s a script your brain follows.
So start writing a better one—one that uplifts you, even in challenging moments.
3. Focus on the Good Moments
Your mind is naturally wired to scan for problems—but you can train it to notice the good.
Collect moments that uplift your spirit:
🔹 A moment of clarity during meditation
🔹 A task completed
🔹 A peaceful walk
🔹 The comfort of a deep breath
🔹 A cozy moment with a book
Gratitude turns these moments into anchors—pulling your thoughts out of stress and into joy.
When you fill your mind with positivity, your self-talk naturally shifts toward lightness and encouragement.
Final Thoughts
Changing your inner dialogue takes practice. But once you begin, you’ll notice something powerful:
Your thoughts soften.
Your energy shifts.
Your world begins to reflect the voice you’ve chosen to follow.
So the next time your inner voice speaks, ask yourself—is this voice a friend? If not, change the tone. Speak with compassion. Speak with strength.
Because the most important conversation you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
“The way you speak to yourself becomes the atmosphere of your mind. Choose words that lift you.”
— Bindu Chintha
